With Dannah Gresh Part 2: I’ll Take Weird!

 Last week, on Facebook, I posted a You Tube video of eight-year-old Sophia Grace and her five-year-old cousin performing “Super Bass” by rapper Nicki Minaj. The girls looked adorable dressed in all pink with ruffles everywhere! And Sophia Grace – well, there is no denying that this little girl has talent. However, if you know anything about Nicki Minaj, then you probably raised an eyebrow when she was mentioned in the same sentence as this eight year old. The lyrics to this song are crass and the person who sings it is far from being role model material.

It’s time to stop letting the ruffles fool us! There is power in entertainment. If at age eight our girls are being encouraged to sing about “Panty dropping” and a “hell of a guy,” then what will they sing, talk about, and try to imitate when they are 16? What seems cute and innocent now will be downright scary then.

With such acceptance and excitement over this video and others like it, I feel like a bit of prude! I just don’t think it’s cute! Does that make me weird?

I thought this would be a perfect time to post Part Two of my interview with Dannah Gresh! Be encouraged if you feel like me; maybe weird is not so bad! Dannah’s answers are not in direct response to the posted video but rather to a previous interview regarding her book, “Six Ways To Keep the Little in Your Girl.” If you missed Part 1, read it here.

Questions: Often we as Christian parents are viewed as overprotective, unrealistic or just plain ole weird (even amongst Christian peers). Honestly, at times it does feel like I may be setting my daughters up to be teased. I have even deeper fears around my girls building resentment and as soon as they can they are going to jump head first into all the things I have been working to keep them from. What encouragement/advice can you offer as we dive into this journey of raising biblically and morally sound girls?

Well, we are weird! Normal is not working. The norm is letting your daughters do what they want to do. Normal is spending copious amounts of money on our daughters and not teaching them the discipline of waiting and self-control. Normal is giving them sexual dolls and letting them listen to sexual music. With all that exposure, we are putting them on a conveyer belt to grow up too fast. We are putting them at risk of building body image issues, eating disorders, depression, and an early sexual debut. That’s the norm; so I will take weird any day! If withholding material possessions, television, music and entertainment is going to help build virtue in my daughters, then I will take that road, and I will have no problem with people question my parenting.

On the other hand, withholding too much information and throwing too many negative messages at them will always bring curiosity that is unnatural which can lead to rebellion. That’s why it’s so important that our positive outweighs our negative. That’s why positive parenting messages are just more potent then negative messages.

I believe in “emotional banking.” This means I pour enough positive into someone’s heart before I begin to speak hard truth into their life. If I want to speak a hard truth to one of my girls about a television show they are watching, that is an emotions withdrawal from her life. If I have not made adequate deposits I can really bankrupt her “emotional account”. And I am not going to have any impact at all. I am just going to make her bitter and angry.

For example, don’t tell your girls they can’t be boy crazy because “that’s dumb.” Instead you can say….

“You know what you can be? You can be crazy for just one man. God has just one man out there for you, and you will meet him when you’re older and he’s going to be awesome and worth waiting for.”

There is a spin in how you can communicate with your children. You can withhold certain inappropriate things from them (as age dictates), and at an age appropriate way, and at an age appropriate time you expose them to some things.

Make sure that you are depositing into her life. Take her for ice cream. Go to the movies. Read books together. Do simple things. Those are the deposits. The neutral things and fun activities give you the room to speak.

Well well well….Now that you are feeling all motivated, are you ready for a challenge? This week, let’s be intentional about making positive deposits into our girls! Think of something you normally say no to and instead of your normal “No you can’t” change it to a “no you can’t do _____ but you can_______!” You will love how much your girls will appreciate your positive “no!”

Tell me what you fill in the blanks with!

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About For Girls Like You Magazine

Hi! I am so glad you are here. I am the proud wife of Jonathan and momma of FOUR little Girls, Alena, Kaitlyn, Camryn and Olivia! I am also the editor and founder of For Girls Like You Magazine! This blog is just one piece of the resources we have available for you! Find out more about me on the "A Little About Me" page! View all posts by For Girls Like You Magazine

12 responses to “With Dannah Gresh Part 2: I’ll Take Weird!

  • Tafadzwa

    I feel “weird” that I am here ferociously devouring the pearls of wisdom on this blog being that I am not a mother haha!! But that said here’s to being weird for Jesus. Besides the bible does say we are a peculiar people so you are spot on!!

  • Becca (@theNewBec)

    no you can’t play the computer before your homework is done, but we CAN go see “A Dolphin Tale” right now and save the homework for afterward 🙂 (She was way excited… we got to see the actual Winter the dolphin when we visited my parents in FL last week and she got to hold the prosthetic tale… but we hadn’t seen the movie yet. Kind of backwards, but it was neat to see her eyes light up when we did finally see the movie this afternoon and she remembered being “right there” at the aquarium).

  • Anna Marie Penix

    No, you can’t talk to me on the phone while you are driving, but you can call me as soon as you are parked and I will listen to you as long as you want to talk!

  • pam

    I will without a doubt take the “weird”. I once had a 7 year old question my parenting decision of not letting my daughter watch Hannah Montana! Really! We all know how she is turning out. That is not the type of role model I want for my daughter.
    I will fill in the blanks with, no, you can’t have ice cream tonight, but we can go out for it as a family this weekend. It’s the simple things that make her happy!

  • Heidi Johnson

    Great article! I have a wonderful husband who is very positive and encouraging and corrects me if i get off course with our girls! Sometimes it is hard to keep things positive when correcting our daughters or telling them “no we can’t do this or go here”. But we can’t break their spirits and be negative, b/c they are learning just like we are! Recently my 7 year old wanted to go out of the house in a skirt and then knee high socks that were way over her knees and up to her thighs. It was hard to kindly correct that one, b/c I instantly wanted to yell “NO”! But I stopped and kindly explained to her that knee socks are to be worn just below the knees and no higher, otherwise we won’t be able to wear them again, but if we wear them correctly there will not be an issue! She did listen and I had to scrunch them down, and she wasn’t too happy. In her mind she thought it was a cool fashion statement and expressing herself, when I totally didn’t see it that way! So… my husband and I may answer “no” to something/situation but will always find a cool alternative! 🙂

  • Amy

    I have found it takes a great deal of energy to not follow the “norm”. I know I am sometimes “that parent” who doesn’t let her daughter do what the others are doing. Thank you for your support and encouragement – it is very much needed in this world!!

  • Someone Else’s Girl-more with Dannah Gresh « forgirlslikeyou

    […] Dannah went on to discuss the importance of positive emotional banking while seeking to build relationships, particularly with young girls. You can read more about that here. […]

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